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November 2009 
How do you deal with fear?
Posted on Jan 20th, 2009
by 
Karin Maree
Karin Maree
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 19, 2009:
I love little Elmo’s message about healthy eating…. ‘Cookies are a sometimes food.’ I think fear is a sometimes emotion. Fear is not ‘bad’ and in small doses it is useful….it shows us to be weary of things that might hurt us and helps us run faster if we need to get out of danger. But when we live in constant fear, when fear is a daily companion, we get out of balance.
I know fear all too well, I lived in constant fear for years. Throughout my life I have had a lot to fear, many life threatening events where I was in mortal danger and fear helped me to run faster and think quicker. But then it took over and began to see danger where there was none and perception of life became impaired, because you cannot see clearly through fearful eyes. Your fearful eyes are looking to the ‘what if’ in the future and they miss the beauty of the ‘what is’ right in front of you in the now.
That’s how I broke my habit of living in fear, I decided to live, to be in this life, in the now. Fear has trouble looking at the now, but you have power, you can make fear look again. I ask fear questions:
Is there an intruder in my house right now?
Is my child well and healthy?
Is there a tree falling on my house right now?
Because if it isn’t here, now needing me to act, needing me to run….I don’t need you fear. Go away and come back when there is an intruder in my house, or my child is ill and I need to worry, or the storm is so intense that my house is in peril. Because I don’t need fear unless what I fear is here….now! Come back and be my friend then.
The other thing I noticed about fear, it is a great friend to the helpless and the weak. I admire fear for that, for the way it rushes to those who feel small and meek. For those who feel there lives are out of control, fear will give them false hope. Fear loves control, it tries to take charge of all the ‘what ifs’ and all the variables.
For me fear became an uninvited house guest that stayed too long, wanted to control everything and wouldn’t leave. At first I resented fear, but then I took it by the hand, like an old, dear friend. I showed fear that I was safe when I went out, that I had a torch if it was dark and my house still stood after a storm. I showed fear that my child was safe and happy. Slowly fear loosened it’s grip. I showed fear that the angels watch over me and the universe brings me what I need, when I need it. Then I thanked fear for trying to protect me and politely explained that I am safe and strong and I want to live.
We parted the best of friends.
I know fear all too well, I lived in constant fear for years. Throughout my life I have had a lot to fear, many life threatening events where I was in mortal danger and fear helped me to run faster and think quicker. But then it took over and began to see danger where there was none and perception of life became impaired, because you cannot see clearly through fearful eyes. Your fearful eyes are looking to the ‘what if’ in the future and they miss the beauty of the ‘what is’ right in front of you in the now.
That’s how I broke my habit of living in fear, I decided to live, to be in this life, in the now. Fear has trouble looking at the now, but you have power, you can make fear look again. I ask fear questions:
Is there an intruder in my house right now?
Is my child well and healthy?
Is there a tree falling on my house right now?
Because if it isn’t here, now needing me to act, needing me to run….I don’t need you fear. Go away and come back when there is an intruder in my house, or my child is ill and I need to worry, or the storm is so intense that my house is in peril. Because I don’t need fear unless what I fear is here….now! Come back and be my friend then.
The other thing I noticed about fear, it is a great friend to the helpless and the weak. I admire fear for that, for the way it rushes to those who feel small and meek. For those who feel there lives are out of control, fear will give them false hope. Fear loves control, it tries to take charge of all the ‘what ifs’ and all the variables.
For me fear became an uninvited house guest that stayed too long, wanted to control everything and wouldn’t leave. At first I resented fear, but then I took it by the hand, like an old, dear friend. I showed fear that I was safe when I went out, that I had a torch if it was dark and my house still stood after a storm. I showed fear that my child was safe and happy. Slowly fear loosened it’s grip. I showed fear that the angels watch over me and the universe brings me what I need, when I need it. Then I thanked fear for trying to protect me and politely explained that I am safe and strong and I want to live.
We parted the best of friends.
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Oh how your words touch my heart! I read them earlier, and I had to go away for awhile, because I was weeping. Not tears of sorrow…but of some sort of profound recognition of all the deep wisdom shared here. I’ve always thought: fear BAD, fear NO, fear is weakness nevereverhave it! …. foolish …. for that’s impossible. Fear is waiting in all the dark corners, ready to nip ankles as I walk by.
What a better way to do it as you say! Make fear a friend. There are legitimate times when it is necessary – an alert friend trying to protect us. What sweetness and peace there are in your words. Yes, let us bless unnecessary fear, and let it go its own way.
Deep bows. Peace and Oceans of Love! Jeannie
Thank you Dear Jeannie!
I thought I would share my thoughts on this topic because after lots of pushing and shoving, many battles fought and lost…..I finallysaw that fear was trying to protect me. If I showed it there was no need, fear peacefully went on its way.
Fighting with fear and trying to push it away is exhausting.
And I know what you mean about feeling foolish. As a child I constantly heard….’Don’t be silly.’
It just added feeling foolish as well as fear and a reluctance to admit to feeling either in the future.